Annes Blogg

tisdag, november 24, 2009

Tant Anne

Tant Anne har en ny blogg.

http://swishandswosh.blogspot.com/

Nu ännu bättre och i färg.

söndag, juni 21, 2009

Sommarlov

Härmed tar bloggen sommarlov.

Om den återkommer återstår att se.

En skön sommar med mycket solsken

önskas eder alla.

/Kram från redaktionen.

fredag, maj 15, 2009

GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED (Hotell i Tokyo)
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR (Restaurang i Schweiz)
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR (Bar i Oslo)
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES (Läkarmottagning i Rom)
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER (Restaurang i Nairobi)
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES (Kyrkogård)
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID (Hotellrum i Japan)
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME (Tvättinrättning i Rom)
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS? (Åsneridning i Thailand)
FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN (Pälsaffär i Sverige)

Message

“I think that we are attracted to what we feel we need."

..............................................

Datorn ar fortfarande

pa servce

och

det ar alldeles for mycket

reklam pa TV.

.......................................

Hoppas fa tllbkak

datorn

nexta vecka.

.....................................

/Red

måndag, maj 11, 2009

The system

Mn dator ar pa servce Orebro.

Den har fatt Svnflunsan.

Aterfas nar faran ar over.

Och pa den jag anvander har jag lyckats tappa bort,

stadat bort, en bokstav fran tangentbordet.

N far sjalva gssa vlken.

..........

Jag ser sa dalgt att jag far spader snart.

Httar nte ens ratt bokstaver.

Oj, oj, oj, sager jag bara...

................

Aterkommer nar lvet har atervant datortrasket.

.......

Nu blr det snart stavvandrng med S.

tisdag, maj 05, 2009

Out of order

You have no new messages.

Back next week...

söndag, maj 03, 2009

101 saker

101 WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
Speak only in a "robot" voice.
Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Sniffle incessantly.
Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
Name your dog "Dog."
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
Drum on every available surface.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Set alarms for random times.
Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
Wear your pants backwards.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
only type in lowercase.
dont use any punctuation either
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Pay for your dinner with pennies.
Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
Light road flares on a birthday cake.
Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
Drive half a block.
Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
Ask people what gender they are.
Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
Wear a LOT of cologne.
Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
Sing along at the opera.
Mow your lawn with scissors.
At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
Never make eye contact.
Never break eye contact..
Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
Make appointments for the 31st of September.
Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

Traningstisps

Tracy's work-out tips

MADonnas tranare har ni har i Daily Mail
1.Train for an hour daily. Thirty minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of weights. Do it for six days a week, every week, for the rest of your life.
2. When using weights choose lighter ones (under 1.5kg) and do more repetitions. Heavy weights will make muscle bulky.
3.If you can, watch yourself exercise in the mirror, and critique yourself as if you were a performer on a stage.
4. If you are working out, eat a ‘clean’ breakfast, such as green vegetable juice, then a light chicken or fish salad for lunch, because then you can occasionally indulge at dinner and you won’t feel so bad.
5. If you need to lose weight, avoid fats, even good ones. And if you go to a restaurant, be demanding — quiz the people who are serving you to make sure you know how they are cooking the food.

Kan det verkligen vara mojligt att man ska ata sa lite som hon sager?

Vatska till frukost?

En liten lunch och en fettfri middag.

Hur orkar de tanka?

Hur kan kroppen bygga muskler utan bra mat.

Hur orkar de overhuvudtaget nagonting?

Men de har kanske personal som gor allt som behover goras.

All energi gar till att trana om man ar en kandis som Gwyneth och Madonna.

Jag far plocka fram mina hantlar och prova men nu har jag iof sig atit

en annan typ av frukost idag och druckit en stor kopp kaffe sa da slipper jag kanske trana for jag har ju redan sabbat matintaget for dagen kan jag tanka.

Men lite stretching behover jag gora kanner jag.

Och lyfta tvattkorgen for sure idag.

PS.

Ser att Expressen slar pa stort med att frukt ar farligt.

Idag.

Igar var det inluensan.

Imorgon?

Kott?

Aka bil?

Myror?

osv

lördag, maj 02, 2009

Dator crash och loppis

Inga bilder blir det. Min lilla gamla engelska laptop fattar inte hur man gor. Min stora svenska dator vill inte att jag ska logga in pa den. Lite irriterande ar det. Men det far duga med den har datorn utan prickar tills jag nar supporten pa monday, trots att det tar 45 minuter att byta sida. Surfa ar det inte tal om pa den har lilla mini datorn. Ikvall ar jag lite trott efter 7 timmar loppis och ovanpa det en runda pa 6km med S och sedan 1 tim biltvatt. Det ar vad loppsisslantarna rackte till nar jag betalt mina 300 kr for borden. Ingen hojdardag med forsaljningen alltsa. Folk vill ha Armaniskjortor for 5 kr typ. "Men herregud, det ar ju bara Lindex "hojtade en dam, nar jag vill en ha 40 kr for en fin blus. Inget mer loppis i ar , tror jag. La det som blev over pa Myrorna; fint porslin, jackor, blusar, skor, byxor...men det ar kul att prova ibland. Ikvall "trostade" jag mig med lite rakor,scampi, sallad och vitt vin for att jag ar sa en sa duktig, go' och glad mannska! Hej hopp, nu far vi se om ryssarna slar USA i hockey. Gasp och go'kvall.