tisdag, november 24, 2009
söndag, juni 21, 2009
Sommarlov
fredag, maj 15, 2009
Fun stuff
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR (Restaurang i Schweiz)
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR (Bar i Oslo)
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES (Läkarmottagning i Rom)
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER (Restaurang i Nairobi)
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES (Kyrkogård)
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID (Hotellrum i Japan)
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME (Tvättinrättning i Rom)
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS? (Åsneridning i Thailand)
FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN (Pälsaffär i Sverige)
Message
måndag, maj 11, 2009
The system
tisdag, maj 05, 2009
söndag, maj 03, 2009
101 saker
101 WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
Speak only in a "robot" voice.
Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Sniffle incessantly.
Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
Name your dog "Dog."
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
Drum on every available surface.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Set alarms for random times.
Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
Wear your pants backwards.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
only type in lowercase.
dont use any punctuation either
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Pay for your dinner with pennies.
Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
Light road flares on a birthday cake.
Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
Drive half a block.
Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
Ask people what gender they are.
Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
Wear a LOT of cologne.
Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
Sing along at the opera.
Mow your lawn with scissors.
At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
Never make eye contact.
Never break eye contact..
Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
Make appointments for the 31st of September.
Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Traningstisps
1.Train for an hour daily. Thirty minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of weights. Do it for six days a week, every week, for the rest of your life.
2. When using weights choose lighter ones (under 1.5kg) and do more repetitions. Heavy weights will make muscle bulky.
3.If you can, watch yourself exercise in the mirror, and critique yourself as if you were a performer on a stage.
4. If you are working out, eat a ‘clean’ breakfast, such as green vegetable juice, then a light chicken or fish salad for lunch, because then you can occasionally indulge at dinner and you won’t feel so bad.
5. If you need to lose weight, avoid fats, even good ones. And if you go to a restaurant, be demanding — quiz the people who are serving you to make sure you know how they are cooking the food.
lördag, maj 02, 2009
Dator crash och loppis
onsdag, april 29, 2009
Jag blev tillsagd att gå och ta en kopp kaffe efter att
ha gjort det här snabbhetstestet!
Jag är tydligen inte snabbare än en snigel!
Oj ,oj ,oj.
Dagens lunch
Dagens inköp
Living
50 städerna med högst livskvalitet
Rankning 2009
1
Zûrich
2
Genève
3
Vancouver
4
Auckland
4
Düsseldorf
6
München
7
Frankfurt
8
Bern
9
Sydney
10
Köpenhamn
11
Wellington
12
Amsterdam
13
Bryssel
14
Toronto
15
Ottawa
16
Berlin
16
Melbourne
18
Luxemburg
19
Stockholm
20
Perth
21
Montreal
22
Nürnberg
23
Oslo
24
Dublin
25
Singapore
26
Calgary
26
Hamburg
28
Honolulu
29
San Fransisco
30
Helsingfors
30
Adelaide
30
Paris
33
Brisbane
34
Tokyo
35
Boston
35
Lyon
37
Yokohama
38
London
38
Kobe
40
Milano
41
Portland
42
Barcelona
42
Washington
44
Osaka
44
Lissabon
44
Chicago
44
Madrid
48
New York
49
Seattle
50
¤¤¤¤
Dagens citat
"Varje val jag gör skapar i mig antingen välbefinnande eller obehag.
Lyssna på kroppen.
Den berättar för dig vilka slags val du gör”
Kay Pollak.
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
Subway, Stockholm
En ung tjej står i kassan när en man kommer in och beställer en macka. Tjejen bär en ring på sitt högra ringfinger som mannen lägger märke till.
Mannen (med bred jamaicansk dialekt): Are you gift?
Tjejen: What?
Mannen: Are you gift?
Tjejen: What?
Mannen: Gift! Gift! (pekar på ringfingret)
Tjejen: Oh, married? No, no, I'm not married.
Mannen: Then sister take it off. You confuse a man.
http://www.tjuvlyssnat.se/
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
Buss 8 mot Gottsunda, Uppsala
Flicka ~3: Mamma?
Mamman: Mmm…
Flickan: När blir vuxna små igen?
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
Magnus Uggla tar verkligen hotet om
fågelviruset på
allvar.
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
tisdag, april 28, 2009
måndag, april 27, 2009
Tv dokumentär
Spanienvärme
söndag, april 26, 2009
Dagens citat om vett & ettikett
First Dog of USA
Där kan ni se Vita husets
träffa pressen för första gången.
Dagens predikan
Är du sne´ eller?
lördag, april 25, 2009
Varmt
fredag, april 24, 2009
Poetry
Love yourself
Love yourself.
torsdag, april 23, 2009
Det här är världens mest sedda klipp på You tube.
118 miljoner har sett den.
Obamas installationstal är stort på You Tube men fler visningar
har den här damen med 85 miljoner träffar.
Stor nyhet idag är att hon plockat ögonbrynen.
På möte
Good hairday finns också
onsdag, april 22, 2009
Gullisar av kloka barn
tisdag, april 21, 2009
Intuition
Vad kroppen vill ha
TIPS från Lisas blogg
Börja med att stå med fötterna tätt intill varandra på marken/golvet.
Det behövs lite övning bara, sen är man på banan ☺.
Ps. Nån sa till mig för länge sen att man kan
Jag har provat själv - och visst svajade jag!